Monday, March 25, 2002

Four hours and 23 minutes. Can anything that takes long be any good? Jeeze, if they could just dump all the useless category introductions, they'd save 30 minutes (Cinematographers are the people behind the camera...). Who cares? Get on with.

Halle Berry's acceptance speech was interesting in a car crash sort of way. I was kinda hoping she'd never recover from the crying jag and instead rush offstage in a burst of tears and sobs, clutching the trophy to her vine-laced torso. It would have been so refreshing for a winner not kiss the ass of their managers, lawyers and business contacts in front of the 1 billion plus audience (there's some ego stroking, hmmm?). Of course, they probably would never work again, so we can't expect that to happen.

I could have sworn that in an earlier interview, Halle was asked about the racial implications of her winning earlier and she claimed it wasn't about race, it was about the work, the acting. I guess she changed her mind once she climed the steps. When she turned that acceptance speech into the black actress role call, I bet the Academy old-timers were cringing and muttering, Jeeze, we give the award and she has to bring this up in front of everybody?

Wasn't it odd that Randy Newman won his first Oscar in 16 tries for a feather-weight song he probably wrote in 10 minutes while sitting on the john? The guy's last album (which was great) sold 70,000 copies and it's his little monster buddy song that every is going to hum. There is no justice in the music biz.

And finally, something tells me Cirque du Solei was hired specifically to embarrass Debbi Allen for those years of hapless dance routines she inflicted on Academy Award Show viewers. Not that Cirque was so great or original (in fact, most of the routines were lifted from Cirque's running productions), but their sense of spectacle alone won a righteous standing ovation.

Not if we could just be rid of those cue-card reading presenters, perhaps the show could be put to bed before 11:30 pm.

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