Friday, September 06, 2002

Sorry to be so lax about the updating, but this having a full-time job at the University thing is an amazing time-killer. Not that I do so much work mind you. But the system is so badly organized that I'm expected to find my own office furniture, haul to my office (which I repainted), beg for office supplies (and internet service) and a myriad of other things that used to be handed to me in more efficient corporate gigs. Then it turns out we're not allowed to sell or even throw out worthless equipment. Instead, we have to endure a long process known as salvaging. You want to know why the state wastes so much money on education? Give me a few days and I'll show you how.

Got a very funny note from Warren of Hollywood recently that read:
I can't believe I didn't write immediately to crow when it was announced last week, but my humble little sitcom "Off Centre" was named the 2nd most offensive show on TV by the Parents Television Council. We are quite proud, and now sport the slogan, "This year we'll try harder!" "Buffy" was number one, which is pure bullshit -- somehow Satanism is more offensive than sex. Well, we can do gay porn or a threeway with the devil or something, and then we will rule!

Here are a couple of links to the PTC thing:

TV News Daily

PTC Rates 10 Best & Worst

PTC - The Week's Worst

Obviously this is the best thing that could ever happen to our show, so spread the word!

Here's the official PTC Quick Report:

Off Centre (WB/Comedy)
10:30 p.m. (EST) Sunday 

Created by brothers Paul and Chris Weitz (American Pie), this sitcom features roommates Euan and Mike, Mike’s girlfriend Liz, and their friends Chau, and Status Quo. 

Sexual content is a staple for this show.  Recent storylines have focused on Euan considering circumcision, an outbreak of a sexually transmitted disease, threesomes, and couples viewing pornography together.  Episodes have also featured storylines dealing with sexual innuendo, masturbation and oral sex.

Language is a problem for this show as well.  Frequent anatomical references and foul language such as “hell,” “ass,” “crap,” “son of a bitch,” and euphemisms for f--k are common.

Occasional mild violence is used.  For example, in a recent episode, Chau was dating a girl who enjoyed seeing him get assaulted.

Congratulations are in order, especially when one considers "Off Centre" is probably the least popular of the top ten "bad" shows cited and certainly has the worst timeslot of anything on the list. In fact, if we do a bit of creative math, perhaps we can even nudge "Off Centre into the top spot. How? Consider offensiveness per viewer.

You see, according to Nielsen's Television Ratings 2001-2002 Season, Buffy enjoyed an averaged of 4.31 million goth-friendly viewers per episode (a ranking of 124 out of 158) while Off Centre had 2.3 million lusty souls check in for each episode (a ranking of 155 out of 158).

If we can assume that on the PTC's list of the Top Ten Worst shows, each entry is 10% less offensive than the previous one, we can then say Off Centre is 90% as offensive as Buffy. Doing some creative math, we find that Buffy expends it's full 100% offensive over 4.31 million, producing an offensivness rating of 23.2 per viewer (ie: 100 divided by 4.31 = 23.2). But Off Centre, though only 90% as offensive as Buffy, concentrates its offensivness more effectively, yielding an offensiveness rating of 39.1 per viewer (ie: 90 divided by 2.30 = 39.1).

That means Off Centre is nearly 69% more offensive per viewer than Buffy! Wow!

These are obviously results worth celebrating, but please, if you drink, drive on small back roads far away from my house.

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