Tuesday, February 04, 2003

BUSH JR CALLS SADDAM
Here's an excerpt of an imagined phone call between two homies. From Jeffrey Zeldman Presents: The Daily Report

GW: Things may not go your way. Then what?

SH: Lob a little of that anthrax I'm not making at Syria and Iran, give Israel or Turkey a taste of botulinum toxin. Then out the door with a fake passport, some nice luggage, and a fat Swiss bank account. I could pass as retired Greek shipping tycoon. Shave the moustache, have a little work done by Michael Jackson's plastic surgeons. Get me a beach house and a couple hundred servant girls, satellite hookup, Cartoon Channel, watch me some Power Puff Girls.

GW: Not if you're dead and in a box you won't.

SH: Yo, Bush Junior, my lookalike's been tied up in a dungeon for six months, shot full of morph, wouldn't know his own mother if I hung her up next to him. He'll die bravely on the field of battle, no problem.

GW: Not bad.

SH: Thanks. So how's your morning looking?

GW: Well, I've figured out a way to make sure rich people never have to pay taxes again. You?

SH: Removing the fingernails and eyelids from a six year old child while his mother watches.

GW: Ouch. You are one bad hombre.

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