Saturday, June 26, 2004

A HOLE NEAR MY HOLE
Many fine folks came out of the woodwork to express sympathy for the fissure in my anus. Gosh, it's liberating to final say this - I HAVE A HOLE NEAR MY ASS AND IT HURTS!

Anne L suggests yoga and the exile of wheat from my diet. She says lots of folks have issues with wheat. Who knew? The medically well-versed Natalie discussed the possibility of getting a Sphincterotomy, which involves cutting at the tear, thereby removing scar tissue and relaxing the muscle so the fissure can heal. That future is pictured below:



Ouch! Natalie said our friend's brother is moving into town and he's a good ass doctor. I'm not sure I want my ass cut by anyone I might run into at a party or picnic. Would I eat a burger he cooked? Would I shake his hands? Hmmmmm.

On the good news front, I've been eating a lot of fish oil pills lately to combat cholesterol levels. That's had a stool softening effect, allowing me to enjoy two days of pain-free bowl movements. Yahoo! Between this and drinking a lot more water, I might be able to avoid the knife for a while.

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