Sunday, June 20, 2004

PHYSICAL REPORT
It's Father Day's and I'm getting old. In what ways you ask? I have a tear in my sphincter. The thick fingered ex-Navy doc who once looked up my ass called it a Anal Fissure (look there's a whole web page about Anal Fissures!). In short, this can mean a lot of pain when I poop...ass-ripping, eyes tearing kind of pain. But us old guys know how to adapt, huh? When on the pot, I've now figured out how to both bear slightly down for the bowel movement and, at the same time, tighten my sphincter to minimize the pain.

Inexplicably, this ability makes me somewhat proud. Go figure.

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